I'm young, curious and totally unable to fit into a cupboard box of social conventions. I want to live this life to the fullest and capture everything I love, just to share it with you. So, if you found your way to this open book of memories, why don't you wander around a bit?

♥

↺
209
341/365 If tumblr and flickr where real places on earth shown on any map, I would travel all the seven seas to find them and live there. Places like that where people compliment eacht other on their talent, their virtues, their beauty. Places where you can express yourself freely without having to fear judgement, because you will always find a friend, someone to be with you.
♥

↺
28
335/365 Relaxing under the sunrays I just had two words in my mind - “thank you”. This project and all those wonderful and great photographers and bloggers I met. The nice messages and the inspiration. The new perspective I gained upon the little beautiful aspects of my daily life. All this has been amazing! So, if you’re looking at this photo and by that are taking part in this journey that has lasted for 335 days and that will go on for 30 days (and 365 more days after that because I don’t want to stop), THANK YOU! You make this special. You make this more than just a photography project. The fact that exactly you, wherever you may be right now, are seeing my work makes tumblr and flickr the most magical places on earth to me.
♥

↺
20
333/365 Every morning there is this girl in the mirror staring back at me. I know her. She’s been there for years and she hasn’t changed at all. Whenever I looked in the mirror, this girl in it was not what I expected, she was not what I wanted. I didn’t like her or what she looked like. I wanted a million faces to stare back at me, but not her’s. Over the years I told her horrable things.. but she never left. She just stayed right there. As the years went by I wondered why she didn’t change even though I wanted it so much. I could change my hair, change the make up, change the clothes. This girl though wouldn’t change. She wouldn’t finally turn into that girl I wanted to be. But what needed a change wasn’t that girl, it was me. She wasn’t wrong and she hasn’t been wrong in all these years. I was the wrong one for giving her bad names, for never pointing out her good sides and her beautiful spots, for always only focusing on the bad little aspects of her. No matter how I would change my outfits or style, it wouldn’t change the simple fact that I didn’t want her there. A new costume doesn’t change the artist that’s in it. It just changes what we see, not what we feel. We had a difficult start and I still don’t think she’s perfect. But she is what she is - she will be whatever I let her be. Whatever I tell her in these few minutes we have together every morning and every night can make or destroy her day. After all those years of harsh words, today we enjoy our little moment. She smiles at me some days and it fits her so much better than those sad eyes from the past.
♥

↺
45
332/365 I embrace the little things. You can have so many material goods, you can have a thousand clothes, you can have the greatest house. But to be honest, all that is only great if it is important to you, if you know how to enjoy it. When I was young I saw great clothes on other girls and wanted to look like them. I tried to buy the same stuff, but it just didn’t make me feel prettier. Instead I would start to feel sad because I didn’t look like those girls. I still looked the same, I was still me. This only changed when I stopped buying stuff because I liked it on others. I began to only buy those clothes I would totally fall in love with. I explored this feminin side and started having fun with it. I’m sure I don’t have the best taste on earth and god forbid if someone would see me during exams. I walk around like I’m auditioning for a part in The Walking Dead. But the important part was not what I bought or even that I bought stuff. The important part was me having fun with it and starting to be more kind with myself. A subject that was filled with doubt and negative thoughts for years started to be light and natural to me. I can only encourage all girls and women to explore themselves. Don’t look too much at others, they’re not you. No matter what you buy or try, you will not look like them and that’s great. Because you are unique, wonderful and pretty. And there is a world inside of you to explore. Plus, to be honest, who cares how we look everyday? It’s not the look that really matters. It’s just important that you hold your head up high and don’t back down on who you really want to be, from the in and outside.
♥

↺
5
309/365 If there’s something I learned from moving out it’s that you won’t be able to master everything at once. But you can go step by step. It took us over a year to find the right place for everything and buy the first plant. It took us over half a year to hang up our photos. Which is a shame given the fact that we’re photographers! But still, with everyday we change a little bit and everytime we start a project, like today’s putting some green stuff in this apartment task, this place gets more and more ours. And everytime I open my door I feel sheltered and happy. Nothing happens over night, but awesome things happen if you don’t stop trying.
♥

↺
13
280/365. It’s evident the art of losing’s not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.  I love this poem from Elizabeth Bishop. Some people left my life lately… but it made me realize that they were never really in it all the way. I held them, with all my strength and all my love. But if I would have listened to my heart and it’s steady and peaceful sound, I would have realized that they were never meant to last. They were there to teach me a lesson, to bring me to my limits, to crash me into pieces beyond repair, so I would be able to put myself back together in a new way.  I still don’t know how to lose, but I’m quite sure this wasn’t the last time. But I’ll always read that beautiful poem and remember that we all lose and win with it at the same time. That we should worship those meant to stay and not cry rivers after those only making a short visit.

Hey everybody. I’m so sorry, but
I won’t be able to post photos for yesterday and today. Got a big cold. But I’ll make it up to you as soon as this fever goes down. Big hug!

4 / REBLOG
♥

↺
2
244/365 The only thing that repeats itself during life is the act of losing something we care for. I tried so hard to act right lately. I tried not to tell myself things, but listen quietly to that little voice inside of me, not convince myself of the things I wanted to feel, but accept the person and the heart that’s inside of me. It hasn’t been easy, but I tried. I’m still not good at it, but I’m devoted to it like a skater falling on his face a dozen times before he finally nails that one figure he was trying to do all the time.  Still I feel like in this story there never was a way to win. In this story all that was involved had to be lost at some point. And no matter how hard I would try to hold on to the ideals and the beauty attached to it, I would break. I was honest, I kept my distance and tried to figure out the paths destiny was showing to me for myself. But there seem to be gestures in the world that run freely. They just happen and people just act the way they do and say what they think is right. And with that, without wanting it or maybe simply because they can, draw a line of destruction and pain through other one’s lifes. I’m going to accept this as a fact of life. I’m going to do my best to let go. As the protagonist says in “Eat, pray, love”: “So miss him. Send him some love and light everytime you think about him, then drop it.” Only that in my case it’s a she, and it’s about friendship, not love. Or maybe both are the same, just with different gestures.  I watched “The life of Pi” today. The whole story seemed to be about faith and the art of losing. About friendship and strength. This friend has given me strength when I was stranded totally hopeless in an ocean of doubt. She taught me to swim and opened my mind for new views on balance. The same way the tiger walks into the jungle at the end, I ought to cry and rebell, but in the end accept that things like this happen. I’m so thankful for everything, yet I can’t change the ways of life. I’m too far away and I can’t set things straight, because there is no truth. There are just people and emotions trying their best to cope with it. All I can do is go on and send love and light everytime I think of her. 
♥

↺
0
163/365 We’ve been taking so many pictures with the polaroid lately, but that one is my alltime favorite. It was shot on my birthday party and it captured the atmosphere and fun that everybody had.  Friendship is described in so many different ways - people that are always going to be there for you, who accept you like you really are, who will never leave you alone. I don’t agree. I think we can actually have a lot of friends and still feel lonely from time to time. Not because our friends are not great, but because at some point the daily routine makes it hard to always be there. Still, friends are those who try their best to do so. I don’t think they accept you like are, but in many cases help you to see who you really are deep down inside. They sometimes know you even better then you know yourself and they might sometimes say some ugly truths you need to hear. But they love you. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, it matters who you have as a real friend. Surrounding ourselves with the ones we love AND who make us feel happy and motivated, that is a key to happiness. 
♥

↺
0
150/365 A new year in my life started today. I thought about what I want to wish for and while we visited an old fortress today I found this sign. It shows what I really wish for and what I think is desirable. I wish to continue with my persuit of happiness following my heart and my inner truth. I hope to never loose the once that kept themselves so close to me, when I was drifting away. I hope to know myself and my beloved ones better with every day of this new year.  Looking back on the past months I can say I’m truely happier then I ever was. I found a way to stand for myself, be true to myself, admit my weaknesses and be proud of my strengths. There is still so much too learn - becoming a great yogini, finding a daily routine that includes practicing piano and start improving my writing (especially in english)… but what is a new year without goals to aim for? So I’ll continue searching for the best version of myself I can become and begin this new year with one of the words that led me to a better way: Namaste.
♥

↺
2
132/365 One day at the climbing park in Wiesbaden! Those parks are just awesome! You have to master different tasks to climb from tree to tree, always getting higher into the green of the forest. The different parcours cross each other and you see people climbing all arround you. All the time you’re safe and secure thanks to different ropes, but you heart beats up to your throat.  At the highest point there was this platform and you could see all the forest and the different parcours through it. It was just peaceful and amazing to do the tree asana up there, in between the forest and up on this amazingly high tree. I have to quote a lovely advice list I found here on tumblr that fits perfectly to the picture and what I felt in that moment: Advice from a tree - Stand tall and proud - Go out on a limb - Remember your roots - Drink plenty of water - Be content with your natural beauty - Enjoy the view
♥

↺
1
130/365 Today was reward-day! I met my really dear brazilian friend and went to shop with her. I have to admit, I never bought any clothes for training purposes because I never did that much sport. Now I’m already going to the gym three times a week for over 3 months and I have no intend to stop. So today I rewarded myself for this 4 months of training with some suitable fitness-clothes. I know this sounds ridicilous, but for me it’s a big improvement. When I go to the gym I always look like the sesame-street cookie monster. It’s horrable and I’m surprised no child cried till now after seeing me. So I’m doing what my friend Cica told me: Embrace the godess in you! I surely don’t look like a godess but at least I don’t look like coming back from destroying Hongkong. I feel good in those clothes. Having them in my closet means that fitness has a longterm place in my life. So whatever you really want to do, make sure you create the right atmosphere for it. Buy the equipment you need, make some investment in yourself, believe that you’re not going to give up. Make a real investment in your talents! You sometimes don’t even try because there is always someone better and everybody is used to compeed. But so many things are not about competition. They’re about achieving your goals, believing in yourself, sharing success and most of all being who you want to be. Stop looking what others do, how well they do it or why. All the reasons you need are inside of you. If something makes you smile, if something makes you happy, if something helps you to share your feelings- just do it! That’s all that matters.
♥

↺
0
116/365 There is more to explore in this world then I could ever imagine. Today was exciting but not really creative. It’s great to know that you’re needed at work, but leaving the office at 5 or 6 pm on a Friday doesn’t leave much space for outdoor activities. But anyway, for some reason I feel really proud today. I’m really my project has gained a little more then 50 followers. Thank you! That really motivates me to keep this project up and invest more time to improve my skills. Next week I’m going to meet some good friends of mine that make gorgeous photos to learn a bit more about flash photography. I thought this project was about photography, but I guess it turned out to be about evolution, about wanting more and dedicating to creativity. Thank you for following and giving me feedback. I really appreciate ever single one of you.
♥

↺
5
113/365 Finally I managed my headstand without a “segurance wall”. After two weeks of break this was a huge accomplishment for. It’s a point I wanted to get at since I started yoga about 3 months ago. When I started my main motivation was my dear friend Cica. She told me what yoga is about and how it’s helping her. But it’s hard to stay motivated if the person you really connect to in that field is so far away like Cica is. But after a few weeks I felt connect to two more people, my yoga teacher Franca and Dugsou, who also attends her lesson. Both are great! They have a positive energy and motivated me to keep visiting advanced classes. When I’m not really motivated the thought of meeting them gives me a good feeling. Of course I know that I achieved this and I’m actually really proud of myself, but I also know that it would have been alot harder without these three great yogis. Thank you fromt he bottom of my heart! Namaste.
♥

↺
2
112/365 First of all I would like to thank the lovely anon that sent me the message he/she loves my blog yesterday! It really made me happy and I’m glad this project seems to put a smile on some faces. That really means a lot to me! About today, as I said we made a little discovery tour through Frankfurt. We visited the café “Cookie in a Box” and my brownie was so delicious! Later we found some other great cafés like Tia Emma, Eine Welt Laden and Zart Bitter. What really surprised me is that those little shops and cafés were full. That’s awesome! I mean, I still like to visit a Starbucks from time to time, but different cafés can only survive if people start visiting different places. Often it’s not even more expensive or anything like that. I guess if you like to have different places and diversity in your hometown, you should support stores like these. So a big horray for diversity.
+